Level Up! The Return of Mr. *Clap-Clap* N-G-O!

I'll update later...I'm mad that the post before got eaten. Anyway, in short nothing happened with me, even though somethings did. I just won't say because I'm mad that the post that discussed all that disappeared. The song fits my mood...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 8:29 PM

Man, everyone wanted to get out of Political Science today. I wished I had Cindy's Biology class...by the time we started actual lecture, she got out of her class. And they don't even stay for the long haul. We just get a lot of side conversations going that everyone was just groaning in the inside, looking at the clock, and some just ditch class in the middle of the side conversations. Man, if my sister wasn't in class, I ditch too.

After class, we went to go play pool and I had eleven bucks going in, and I have no dollars coming out of there. Basically I paid for two people. Oh well...we haven't played pool in a while, so our game was just horrible.

What else...I need someone to pretend to be my wife for a few hours. Talk to me about that one...

Final thing, I really want to get this free upgrade that ripway is providing. All I need is 5 people to sign up at http://www.datingdojo.com/?aff_id=RW149136 and I'll get the upgrade. It's a dating website and it's free and I don't think signing up takes that long. Please sign up if you have the chance! One part of the upgrade would do a lot of wonders to this site, somewhat. I can upload a lot of things and won't go over the bandwidth limit. Those kinds of possibilities. So, help me out! Please?!

That's about it for tonight...I'll leave this for thought...

"Skin and Atmosphere" by 36 Crazyfists

Think I'll rename my heart, the calendar.
'Cause it'll surely know just when to end.
And I've been looking at you through the telephone,
as the photograph whispers that she isn't even home.
So alone, I bleed myself right in.
Unusual here breathing, inviting the silence.

But you're not here, you're nowhere near at all.
Just skin and atmosphere.
And if it's not what you wanted,
better get out now.
Alone it takes me,
underneath it'll surely break me.
Underneath these things.

Twenty some years my parents let themselves leave.
I always swore that would never, ever be me.
And now you're looking at me through a new lens,
your voice on the end doesn't understand anything, nor do I.
Paper cuts for me.

Prove me wrong, I want you to prove me wrong.

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 2:38 AM

This is probably the longest time I've been online in a while. I'm not sure where everyone's at right now. Cisco called, but he's not answering his cell phone. So, right now, I've doing the usual thing actually, just sitting here.

All this weekend has been pretty dead. I ought to carry my cell phone everywhere I go, because Lladira called yesterday probably at 7:30 and I didn't get to my cell phone until around 8:00 or so. She wanted somebody to go with her to an orchestra in I think Centennial Park in Camarillo. So, when I called her, she was already there and I really wanted to hang out with her. By the time I got there, it was at intermission and fortunately I found her and her friend Allen there. The park was really beautiful at night, and I liked the orchestra. There was a lot of familiar songs played, like the one commercial for Grand Theft Auto 3. The girl that sang was amazing. Lladie and I had a blast just identifying various types of songs, and we were kind of near the portapoties so we knew the people who enjoyed their tri-tips. Overall, it was pretty fun.

I don't know if anything will happen tonight. This is the last week for my econ class, and next week is the last day for my Political Science class. So, hopefully things will pick up then. For now, singing, "Why so cynical in life? You think you're living to die...all in wait...all in wait..."

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 6:15 PM

Monday and Tuesday I had midterms, I think they went alright. But, they were harder than the first one for sure. But, nothing really much happened other than that. After midterms, I guess it's time to examine my brain.

I guess it's one of those times of the month where I thought that I could try find the "fling" that can evolve into a relationship. Based on the pass entries, it hasn't really started, or I haven't really made any attempts. Is there someone that I'm interested in right now? Yes. Actually, ask me that question and five ladies come to mind. (smiling) Yes, what's going on in my head is that I don't got it all straighten out. There's elements of weirdness, just plain crazyness that I'm still thinking about it, the obvious yet the parties involved are blind from what I think, and a whole lot of surprises. It be easier if I would say who those five were but I'm afraid of what can happen. And those scenarios I've thought of as well. But for now, here's things that happened to provoke my feelings...

I had several dreams in the past with some of the 5. In one dream, one of the five and I were just cuddling closely together somewhere on the cliff in the mountains where we watched the sun set. We were asking each other why were we hugging each other but we knew that for that moment, it was the right thing to do. In another dream, 2 of the 5 call me up to go somewhere with them. So, I end up like at a store, but if you walked further into the store, you eventually have a school inside. So I walked into the store and saw behind me the two girls that called me up and I became afraid with one of them so I start trying to lose them down the isles of the store, but one came up from behind and hugged me giving me comfort. It was the one that I wasn't afraid with. The last dream was one that I started chatting and we were just talking about all different stuff as if nothing in the past happened and that there was a great sense that it was ok. All of the dreams felt real. They were things that I hoped for and thought about constantly. When those dreams played, I never wanted to wake up from them because I thought they were happening and that I've been given those chances to speak or express those things to them. But, I woke up and realized that it was just a dream and I felt dissappointed that things are still the way they are in this world.

In the real world, there are some ladies that I felt that we have a connection and that I could say anything about myself and things for them to interpret. They've really become close friends to me. But, being close friends, is it ok to like them more than friends? From past accounts, those types of situations proved after revealing the deeper thoughts, the two individuals feel differently towards another and you think to yourself, "Ah man, why did I just do that?" It either can go worse off, or there's a chance where it's mutual and things can blossom. But, the worse off part is what I'm afraid of. I never wanted to ruin anything, but if something inside was unbeareable that you needed to let it out, would you?

Or, maybe the best was right in front of me the whole time. It's unfair that I never gave them a chance in the past. Back then, I was attracted to someone else and I blew off some because of that. It's unfair I never gave them a chance. I was blinded by what I wanted and never took into consideration that they just wanted to see if she and I could be something special.
But, no matter how hard I tried, how can you get over someone that you truly believed that she was the one that just was put on earth for you? Right in front of your eyes was a figure, a personality, that ideal girl that you dreamed having. The feeling you get everytime you saw or passed by her. That special feeling that you don't feel with any other girl. You can only hopelessly struggle to break out of that bubble.

Talking to some of them is forbidden. You know for the longest time that you've hurt them and you tried to apologize but can't even speak to them. It ate me inside on my conscience day after day knowing that someone in the world feels no comfort when being reminded of my existence. For a long time, I had to pay that price. But, if the price is a lifetime, I shall wait that long. All that I ask after that lifetime is just a chat, I don't think that's too much to ask.

I thought about a more compassionate world where no man, woman, or child, or even a creature was left behind. I thought about what would be the first steps to that. I'm still thinking about that though or since it's late night I can't really think of other things that I thought about.

You can make your own opinions about it. I don't know who reads this or not, but I'll leave it hear for a while. This is a lot of what I think about if my mind is not occupied on anything else, so do I need help?

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 3:23 AM

Emus. Flightless bird, almost roadrunner status. I had a cup of seeds that the farm animals like to feed on. The Emus followed me everywhere around the cage they were in hoping they could snack on it. It was great that the cage was circular, so my sister suggested I start running around the cage. I did, and the two Emus were running behind me around as well. The picnic that I was at was for the most part borring, so I got the crowd laughing at the sight of me being chased by them birds. I'm never going to hand feed cows, yaks, and some goats. Their mouths aren't the cleanest thing. My sister dared me to had feed the cow when you could see the gunk of something entire disgusting covering its mouth. Being the guy that gets electricuted that one time just to find out if the wire had electricity, I went for hand feeding the cow. Too bad I didn't chase around my sister with my dirty hands. Man, it's pretty sick...
 
During this weekend, I was trying to delete the stuff from the old Packard Bell to get it prepared for the person whose buying it. I predicted that it only could be sold for at most $50, but my expectations were wrong and I'd be getting $75 for it. Sweet! So, I got it out and it just will not go past this one point in startup. It got me mad, and the diskette to repair the computer is broken as well. So, pretty much it can't be repaired, so I didn't want to sell the backup computer because it was way better than the Packard Bell one. Oh well, pretty much I finished preparing the back up one, so it's all good.
 
Yesterday, Meghan, Cindy, Cisco, and I went to the movies to see Anchorman. The movie started off slow but it really picked up as it progressed and it was really, really hilarious. Man, I wished I had some sort of fast internet connection and I'd be downloading a butt load of stuff. Oh well, let's see how far 56K can get me. Afterwards, Meghan left for home and I introduced Cindy and Cisco to Electric Ave. Pretty much, that station has few but the latest arcade games. There, I remembered that Allen and I would hang out and play there last summer. It probably reminded me that he'd be back in Oxnard for a little bit in a little over a month. But, I haven't visited Electric Ave. in quite a while.
 
Today, I've been planning to study for my midterms tomorrow and Tuesday, but I'm just hear typing and before that I was just playing a little bit on Brian's guitar. It's not looking good right now. I'll procrastinate until Monday morning...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 4:29 PM

To Cindy:
Do you have the pictures saved on the computer so I can upload them here?

To Shekinah:
It was a fake one! Actually, I didn't hit the elephant, I slipped into the pond before I attempted to swing at it. Haha! I'll probably post that one up...

Since then, some things happened. Last weekend was a weekend of Jolly Jumpers. First my distant cousin had one celebrating her birthday party. I was trying to call people so that we could battle inside it and put on a show for the kids. But, everyone seemed to be gone at the time. Afterwards, Cindy calls me back saying that there was something going on H Street that she was on her way. At the time I was studying a little bit, and I wanted to study more, but you know, I was wondering what's going on over there as well. So, after going to the library, I headed on over and at this one church they had a drumming performance. Cindy spots me and I sat next with her and her brother and after seeing two pieces that they did, I wanted to try it for fun. And I did actually. The people were calling up the audience members that wanted to kind of learn. Cindy and I raised our hands and I was happy that I got picked but kind of felt bad that if I hadn't come, maybe Cindy would have gone up. Overall, I felt like Chris and the Clown from Slipknot while playing on the drums or I forgot what the actual name for it. Another thing learned, 9 in Buddhist means potential. I still remember that, Cindy!

Sunday, I got new shoes. Also, I bike rode over to Lladira's house and they had a Jolly Jumper too. Lladira didn't want to wrestle inside though...T_T I haven't seen her in a while, so it was good. Her dog didn't come out, so that was a plus.

It's just been classes through the weekday up until now. Cisco and my sister beat me in Political Science by 1 and 3 points respectively. 3 points = 1 multiple question = difference between an A and a B. I got an 87 on it so high B, but came home and my parents thought I did way worse than my sister because she said she got an A and I got a B. But, my sister got a 90, so I got mad when they said that I needed to study harder when overall we did fairly the same. I had to shove my test in their faces to let them know that there wasn't really much of a difference. But, high note, in Econ, the midterm that I did not study for, ended up setting the curve for that one. I totally suck...

Tonight went by pretty fast for our class. Afterwards, Cindy, Brian, Cisco, and I went to Buena Lanes. I totally lost touch of bowling. But, most of the night we were fooling around. Derrick comes afterwards and we all went to Jack N' Box and that was it. It was a good night.

I don't really have a headache, but I feel it coming for some reason. I'll head off to bed now...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 12:26 AM

Oooohhh....aaahhhhhh...new template. Why 6 as the volume number? You can guess.

Back to business. I'm typing this on a Saturday, so I must say what happened two days ago. Or maybe even four days ago. So, my first class for this week was Macroeconomics. Both of my classes midterms fell on this week. Well, coming in Tuesday, I thought the midterm for that class was going to be on Thursday. So I got there, and the lecture began like normal, and I thought it'll be just one of those 4 hour class. Well, I didn't really get it when professor Bohan asked the class, "Any questions before the exam?" So I was sitting there just chillin' thinking I'll be good by Thursday. Well, turns out that he asked for all of the books and notes to be put away. All weekend, 4th of July, hanging out with friends, didn't really do homework even though I did the econ homework. However, I never cracked open the book or reviewed my notes for lecture. Man, I was just very anxious about it. When I got the test, I busted out laughing in my head on how easy the test was. If I got a B on it, then I know it was my fault that I didn't follow the syllabus. But, it I got an A on it...(shaking head).

The next day was my Political Science midterm which I had with my sister. My sister actually spent probably all weekend typing up this ridiculously long study guide booklet. I reviewed over it and my sister and I were quizing each other on the terms in there. I didn't really get a lot of the things she asked, so she got all on me that I wasn't studying at all and this and that and she being the best in the world...but, she was really nervous getting into this midterm and I was just more chilled and relaxed and stuff. I believed that how you perform is based on what stuff is meaningful about the class. So if getting a 70% on an exam means that the stuff up to then was 70% meaningful to you. So, we get the exam and again on the most part it was really easy. Cisco, my sister, and I discussed it afterwards and it turns out that one essay question I got totally right and she got totally wrong. We're all comparing answers and for the most part it was the same for all of us except the short answer portions. So, hearing that, I was just chuckling inside. I think my sister just needs to shut up sometimes...

After the midterms, Thursday the professor just ended class early, which was pretty sweet. I call up everyone and in the end, Cindy, Willy, and I went to the movies to watch King Arthur. I thought it was pretty good for the most part. But, one part it goes against everything that we studied. So, I don't know what's the preferred theory is about the story of King Arthur. He (can be any he) does not die! Oh well, afterwards I dropped off Willy and then Cindy and I got back at her house at midnight. Both of us just started talking in the back of my truck about everything from past to present to future. I couldn't believe that both of us were just talking until 2 am and the night was clear, moon and stars shinned, overall it was pretty cool to talk with Cindy. I guess this was the one-on-one conversation that I needed.

So yesterday was not really productive at all. But, eventually I got the call with my friends to go somewhere but where to was the question. So, I wanted to go to Golf n' Stuff and it was agreed by everyone. Willy's brother came and Cindy's sister came as well. It was pretty fun there. Derrick kept hitting the ball into probably every pond available there. Only Derrick can do that...when Golf n' Stuff was about to close, we decided to do Indy Cars as our last thing. Ah man, I loved my Indy car, it was pretty fast and I caught up with Cisco and Willy and Kevin because their engines were pretty sour. And I was the last of my group to go into the course. I could never catch up to Cindy. I guess we were dead even around the course, or maybe the tangle that I had with Kevin slowed me down and Willy wouldn't let me pass him. I spunned out Kevin, it was pretty funny. I got to see the pictures that Cindy took there. I don't know if she got the one with me hitting the elephant with the golf club...

That's pretty much me up until now. Goodnight!

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 1:54 AM

Yesterday was a glorious day. Started off in the morning where Cisco and I went down to Filmore to get some fireworks. We saw the two girls that works at Billiards Arcades down there as well. So, later on at night, Willy and I decided to watch the show on the harbor of Channel Islands. Pretty much, we got out late and went there and all along the Victoria Drive there were fireworks show starting. The Channel Island's one didn't start until we hoped out of my truck and we were dashing on over to the area where I normally watch it. Probably people think that it's just the same every year and they don't bother going to watch or maybe the heavy traffic is the factor. But, you don't see it probably live right in front of you not on TV everyday. And, most of the time you need to pay somewhere to watch it. Even though it might come out of tax dollars, still you don't have to pay someone to watch it and you don't get that often. Oh yeah, Jason calls to give me a 4th of July shout out. It's always great to hear from him. But, the show was really beautiful.

Coming back, we headed over to Brian's house to ignite the fireworks that I had laying around. We accomplished the unlikely, and it will forever be burned in our heads. It wasn't really much though, but with all the optimism going into it, we felt pretty proud of it. I won't say because it's not really much. Anyway, the best thing in the world, smoke bombs. Yep, we were going to go down to Filmore today to get more of them, but pretty much for me I've been just studying for midterms this week. Is this summer? (shrugs) Everyone else didn't really feel like doing much, I guess this is the day of reflection, like after the Super Bowl or something.

Right now, it kind of can be concluded that despite everything I'm another one that can be disposed of. It'll forever be that way...

Other emotions, kind of weird right now. I really want to have a chat with someone one-on-one...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 9:38 PM

As you can see, things just get in the way that becomes more important than this. Sorry. Well, I don't know where I left off, but as you can see, Spiderman 2 is already out now and I saw it on the 30th. I thought it was a really awesome movie. So all you people need to watch it as well. After Political Science, Cisco and I headed straight to the theatres afterwards after picking up Willy, Brian, and Cindy. Derrick joins us, we saw Luke there. Biggest surprise of the night, just when the movie was about to start, I hear my name being called and lord beholds it was Sara Serota. Haven't seen her in such a long time, probably it was during graduation day when we were just becoming seniors. That's when we had our first crusades and coming back I dropped off some people and Sara was parking her car and was walking to check out the graduation. But, definitely it was exciting to see her because probably I wondered with a lot of other people how she was doing. It was nice to see that she's enjoying her time.

Nothing really big has been happening, or I'm just forgeting some stuff. But, 4th of July here, which means I need to go down to Filmore. Me needs fireworks! Haha! Let's see if I can get Cindy to join me...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 8:44 PM