Level Up! The Return of Mr. *Clap-Clap* N-G-O!

I haven't really been doing anything today. Classes were alright, but I get microsleeps in Chem lecture. Every Thursday I'm practically falling asleep in the class.

I was reading Cindy's blog. I'm so sorry Cindy about your grandpa. I wished that I visted you sometime yesterday. My thoughts and prayers goes out to you and your family.

















Probably on behalf of everybody, it has been a tough Spring. Losing loved ones, surviving school, missing your friends. So much thoughts, so much confusion, so much optimism. Is this a test on our characters? Our spirit? I believe so. How do we end up from all this remains to be seen.

I leave it to that for tonight...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 12:16 AM

Today wasn't really that bad that I expected. Mainly because of my speech class that I was most anxious about. Had to take a quiz on four weeks of reading and had to present a speech today. But, speech went alright, still keeping them laughing so it's a good part. But, they still can tell that I'm kind of anxious. Oh well. Won't speak for a while until now. Also, tonight I'm off. We thought that the ventilation in Milton and I's room was just a heater. It was so hot today, about 100 here it seemed and reported. Went through three bottles of water and a bottle of Mountain Dew. I guess water was going in my mouth and out my pores.

I just want to sleep now, and that's what I'll do...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 10:40 PM

I guess I'll procrastinate even more with this journal entry. Last weekend was bittersweet as they say. Saturday mostly. Began in the afternoon where I went to see my grandpa at St. John's in Pleasant Valley. I should have expected that he was in a worser state than what was said on the phone. I arrived there, and my cousins and uncle were there. At first I saw him sleeping, then my dad woke him up. Well, I didn't really want him to wake up. But he did, and it was very emotinal for me from that point on. I shoke his hand to greet him, and he could barely say my name. Basically I learned that he had amonnia and a minor stroke in his throat. So he can't talk, and the most serious thing is that he has trouble swallowing. My grandpa is very weak now, we have to feed him liquid food because it's so hard to swallow. I had to step out to cry for a moment. I was overwhelmed by everything. Even writing this is hard. My grandpa is still coherent and knows what's going on. Maybe I felt that he's hurt that he wants to do and say a lot of things to us. But his body can't. Maybe I was made to believe that everybody could still function well beyond age 80. I guess there is a harsh reality that not everybody can achieve that.

The hospital was going to hold a family conference about what to do to grandpa. Two options they had was that they send him to a nursing home or we can take him home. If they take him home then the hospital people are going to insert and feeding tube threw his stomach. Nursing home gets really lonely and my grandpa insisted that he wanted to go home. Maybe I couldn't believe that elderlys were being sent to nursing homes and they are there to live out their lives.

Walking up and down the hall in St. John's, I looked into rooms and each were filled with the old sleeping, with families, or one just kind of insane. I realized that not so long, there will be a lot more going to come in hospitals around that nation and they'll be dependent on doctors for their care.

It's a hard road, be I want to be a doctor.

Not just stop there but issue awareness programs to have the elderly stay active and be healthier. I really want to do all this in a few years from now.

Until then, I walked down the hall and saw a painting by Monet on the wall. The land that a family of three was on was similar to the grassfields, trees, and the endless flower field that I saw on the train ride. There was a girl that you can barely make out a face in white dress with a white umbrella that stood in a foreground. I really thought that she was the one in the future for me...

We're still on Saturday. After dinner, I remembered that Tara said that Military Ball that she and Lladira coordinated was tonight. So I had to see it somehow. I got there at 8, but I knew it began at 7. But luckily Tara's friend Rachel was handling business at the door and I had someone else that came there late that was in ROTC handle all the talking. Eventually I got in. Tara and Lladira looked beautiful as always. It was pretty nice how they setted up the dance floor and tables. I thought there would be a shortage of girls upon coming there, but there was help from the Short Flags and other places that boosted the girl population there that probably exceeded the guys. I thought I would just dance a little and I would go back to do other stuff that night. But, during the dance floor, somehow I started dancing with this one girl and slow danced with the girl and then she became my dancing partner for the night. When we took a break from dancing, we headed back to the table along with her friends that she came with. There I got the info on her. Her name was Shekinah and she's a junior and went to OHS as well. She does drill. Her friend RJ often times took me to the side and told me if I liked her. I admitted, she was hot. I don't know if this was true, but RJ told me from the girl that he was with that when Shekinah and the other girl talked to each other, Shekinah said that she liked me. I'm not sure if she does or not, but she left before Military Ball was over. But, I got her number.

I told this story to my co-worker Mollie when she said how my weekend went. She said, "So you're doing the usual three day wait?" Well, I never heard of that, but it's been two days since I got her number. So, I guess I call her tomorrow then...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 11:53 PM

All I Ever Learned, I Learned From Anime

From Dinah's profile. I thought it was pretty good...update later...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 5:55 PM

The Peace Nature Brings

Math midterm was today for me. About two of the problems on it kind of bit me, but I'm hoping that I was able to gain a lot of points from it.

It was a pretty hectic day. Last night my dad calls me saying that grampa was still in the hospital and that today was going to be a busy day for him to pick me up and go home. So, mom suggested that I take the train. This was my first time taking any sort of passenger train, ever. But from the ride, I felt that I got more than $22 dollars worth of the ticket. Where the train track goes from San Luis Obispo to Oxnard is pretty amazing. It's very different than on the freeway because you actually get a sense of everything that's happening on earth it seems. We have fields of agriculture, untaimmed grasslands and forests, rivers, swamps, and also farmers working, abandoned holmes and buildings. Probably one aspect that caught my eye was just the sun and ocean and the waves seemed ever so gentle but there were like five waves that glided over the beaches and tapping the foot of the mountain. Another thing was almost an endless field of flowers. I never seen one in real life, I thought they'd be always on TV, but it was there near the beach. I guess I'm a nature freak and probably look at things in a different perspective, but it's always nice to look at things of beauty. Some of the ride went through neighborhoods were I could see people living out their everyday lives and you wonder about their stories and what they're doing.

Enough with that. Tomorrow, Kim said I had to take her out for like 4 hours because she couldn't be at her house. I don't know, I think she assumes that if I'm home I'm available 24/1 (24/2?) Well, I got to visit my grandpa tomorrow in the hospital and I really hope that she doesn't call me up when I'm there. And another thing is that...I don't know, I just hope that it's not going to be like that friday night. Maybe it's because I'm attracted to someone else. But, I really hate where I'm in right now, inside I feel like a hypocrate. Reversal of roles. It just sucks...I don't get why it has to be that way...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 1:04 AM

Between the hours of 9 - 10 pm last night really were something. First off, Cisco calls me up saying that Daniel Cho died. I remembered him back in Fremont and we had classes together. At first I couldn't believe it, but I saw the news article online about what happened and I was just shocked. Also, it was just last week that this happened so I was surprised that I didn't hear about it until now. But, it's hard to describe the feeling of death to a person you knew.

RIP Daniel Cho

















After hearing about this, I called my parents just to say that I loved them. Turns out, they told me that Grandpa was in the hospital. They said that he was going to be alright, but I'm still worried for him. I just can't believe that everything will be alright. There was one big news that my parents mentioned to me and it could change everything I know. I don't really want to get into that yet. I'll just say that it's going to be a lot harder to do stuff with the friends I know in Oxnard. But I don't want to think about it now. I really just want to get through today.

For my friends and my family, I love you guys.

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 10:55 AM

Starfox0064x: I don't want to do homework
Starfox0064x: so much of my thought process went into the blog
ShAdOwStArX1: lol
ShAdOwStArX1: eh..is cool...
ShAdOwStArX1: just pretend is gunbound...
ShAdOwStArX1: n the pencil is the space bar
Starfox0064x: homework?
ShAdOwStArX1: yes...
Starfox0064x: oh
ShAdOwStArX1: u'll have try really hard
Starfox0064x: but how?
Starfox0064x: I don't want to think really hard
ShAdOwStArX1: dunno....imagination is the key..
Starfox0064x: my mind's already spent
ShAdOwStArX1: lol
ShAdOwStArX1: lol
ShAdOwStArX1: damn
ShAdOwStArX1: its hopeless then
Starfox0064x: yeah
Starfox0064x: well, eventually I'll get around to it
ShAdOwStArX1: yup
Starfox0064x: Milton's taking a nap and it's not good either
ShAdOwStArX1: lol
Starfox0064x: it makes me feel sleepy as well
ShAdOwStArX1: o
ShAdOwStArX1: haha
Starfox0064x: yeah
Starfox0064x: ...
Starfox0064x: lot's of things are not going in favor of studying
ShAdOwStArX1: ....
ShAdOwStArX1: then give in i guess..
ShAdOwStArX1: it seems procrastination is a must...
Starfox0064x: but I need to be motivated into studying
Starfox0064x: need sleep tonight!
ShAdOwStArX1: go over to rachel's....
Starfox0064x: Rachel's?
ShAdOwStArX1: then u'll be motivated..
Starfox0064x: hmmm...I never took that into consideration...
Starfox0064x: let's see...
Starfox0064x: hold up...

This actually happened...

(goes across hall to Rachel's room)
(knocks on door)
Rachel: Come in
Me: My friend said that you can motivate me into studying...
Rachel: ...go study?
Me: ...that's good

Must study now...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 5:52 PM

The promotional blog...won't do a new one until the 30th of June. I'm continuing to edit stuff but it's hard getting the multimedia stuff that I wanted to put in it to get going. So, I'll keep it simple for now. The original Tagboard kept messing up the whole template, so if you want to leave comments, it's a lot like Livejournal where there's links below the entry. Be part of the mythology! Anyways, hope you enjoy the temporary new look...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 5:20 PM

Nothing much today, usual Wednesday off and procrastination Wednesday night type of thing. I miss Lladira...I haven't heard from her in a while. She must be very busy. Anyway, I'm just going to play around with the internet stuff and post later...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 4:26 PM

Yeah, it's been a while. I've been doing plenty of stuff during this time...

So Thursday started off with the midterms that would come this week. After taking the Chemistry test, I felt very good about everything, but the last problem I knew bit me. I knew after enduring Thursday that I would have an enjoyable weekend. Math is nothing really on Fridays, but last Thursday I had to do a speech. Of course, I'm not really fond of speaking in front of the class, but I made them laugh quite a bit.

Friday was just a day to remember. First Jason, Willy, and I went to see Kill Bill vol. 2. I haven't seen volume one before, and we tried to rent it at Insomiac, but they were sold out until next week. But, still I wanted to see it anyway. Dispite the lack of knowledge from the first part, I enjoyed it and got most of the story because vol. 2 was mainly story. Although the action scenes, though few, were very good. Afterwards, I returned to Sierra Madre and the guys on the first floor did the first annual Pina Colatta and movie night type of thing. They setted up drappes, chairs, a fairly wide TV screen, and we watched Kill Bill vol. 1. During this time, they had shot contests where we downed Rum. Barely the 2 hour into the night that started at 7, someone was already passed out in their rooms. But, it got crazy with so many people that came there. Most surprisingly, no authority figure came down into the floor. Mike was able to pull off serving Pina Colattas for 5 hours in a dorm. That had to be a record somewhere. But, also during these hours, Cindy and Austen came down and got us to go to Casino Night down at the Rec Center. We went with them, and I started with 200 dollars of fake money and played no-limit Texas Holdem at one table. And for the brief moment that I had there being that Casino Night would close in about 30 min, after 3 hands, I was able to earn $485 in the end. Too bad I didn't win anything in the raffle tickets. But, I found something that maybe will give me luck at Chumash or later on Las Vegas: Have some drinks and then play. I don't know if it works or not, but we'll see. Also at the Rec Center, we played with those pugle stick where you hit each other with the large q-tip and knock each other over like in American Gladiators? It was fun, I couldn't beat Cisco not even once. But, I missed the Cisco and Willy fight, I heard that it just took one blast before Willy was knocked off. Afterwards, we returned back to Sierra Madre, and the guys there were just about to be out of it, but still had enough just to order pizza and do other things. Definitely a good night.

Other movies scene that night: Hero and Inferno Affairs, two good movies to rent...

Again, Sierra Madre was the place to be on Saturday night. So it began with just Cisco and I just throwing a frisbe in the hallway. Everyone else planned a first floor bon fire later on that night and went to eat first. So when they came back, they saw us throwing two frisbes down the hall. So each guy got on each side and threw the frisbe down to the other end of the hall. Then I guess Raphael threw the frisbe super hard and the other end got scared of the velocity of it and pretty much it was war now. So, everyone got whatever frisbes they had and started just tossing it down the hall with so much force that when it hit the wall, it just shattered all over the place. So, we were running low on frisbes and we were just throwing parts of frisbes that looked like boomerangs now. So the other side that I was against started throwing shoes to us, soda bottles, and even socks. But we had Raphael, and he took a chair and hauked it over to the other side. Greg had a bright idea and took out his stash of animal crackers and each of us had and handful and we charged to the other side and totally annihilated somebody with it. After that it died down, but Cisco had balloons that he got earlier today. So, all the guys started filling them with water and Raphael wanted to throw them at the girls that were sitting on the catch on the floor looking on all the insanity that went on. On the count of three, we all charged out...but we decided to nail Raphael with the water balloons. As soon as this was happening, the RA came in looking confused. We all dashed back to our rooms. I dashed outside of Sierra Madre. But it was all good, all we needed to do was to vacuum and clean up the mess.

It doesn't end there, for it was time for some in-door, first floor wrestling. Just got to be there to see it. Jake vs. Willy! That would have been good...if Willy hadn't ran out of there as soon as his name was called. It was some good action. It was on to the bonfire afterwards with smores, XFL football, and making the fire you can see in space. Too bad that XFL football fell into the fire...

I'm going to leave it there for tonight. I got inspired tonight to revamp everything internet related to me. New blog look coming up, I'll try to put stuff on my AIM profile, so be sure to look for them if not now, but somewhere near. Stand proud, be proud so that you can die proud...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 2:12 AM

Let's see here...do I have a midterm tomorrow? Yes. What have I been doing today? Gunbound, work, eating, downloading...essentially everything else other than homework. Also, the speech date has come for me tomorrow and I don't really feel like doing it or anything else today seeing how I didn't really do anything. And I'm trping in this blog as well which is not good. I guess I just like to waste valuable time for some reason. Oh well, I guess I'll start now and type later...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 8:37 PM

One more thing, looking on my archives, it's already been a year since I got this blogger. Yay! It's one year old!

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 5:52 PM

It doesn't apply to me, but Happy Easter! Yeah...it was fun watching the kids at Rio Lindo park do the hunt. Massive multi-kid collision at the start of the race. Haha! So, I'm just here and Cisco calls me up saying it was Brian's birthday today. I didn't even know...so I got him some Caterbury's Eggs and this M&M stick of mini-M&M thingy. It was last minute, and I'm not sure if he would like any other music album other than Metallica and Linkin Park which he has them all. But, I visited him and Cindy and Cisco called Brian while I was there so it was a good shout out back to them at Cal Poly. I really wished Lladira was home, but I was able to call her up in Palmdale where she was at.

It seems like a lot of crazy stuff have been happening in Cal Poly while I'm gone. First Willy get's the only autograph from Michelle Branch who performed at the Rec Center on campus. NOFX performed also Saturday night. Cisco calls me this morning saying three girls were in the shower together in the boys' bathroom, and the boys stole their towels. Dammit! I missed that! But, all in all, got to see Brian for his birthday, so sacrificing those things for Brian, I would do anytime.

Last Friday was interesting...and unusual. Kim calls me up to go to Billiards and this is my first time seeing her in live form. Saw Marcos there and Kim was there as well. Her "adopted" family made me sign some kind of contract on dating her. So, I filled it out just for the heck of it and in the end, they examed the answers that I put down right in front of me. Well, I'm not really falling for Kim, I don't really feel the feelings or anything. I just think of her as a friend so far. But, on Friday, towards the end, she was just like I guess falling for me and I wasn't really. She hugged me and kissed me but I didn't really feel impressed or wowed by it. It was more like a confusion or more like...what? Sure we talked on the phone, but I didn't feel we were at that point yet. I'm stuck now...I think she's thinking I'm in love with her or something, and I'm just not in that mind state yet. I should talk to her, but everytime she calls I'm a little hesistant on picking it up and I tried telling her these things but she goes off somewhere else and I don't think she gets it or not.

Overall, I feel like crap right now. I'm stuck between two consciousness. I don't really want to express it here, but you can ask me about it. I got a male side of it, from Brian. But, I think I need a female side of it. Hopefully it would be Lladira, or somebody else...

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 5:49 PM

Right now, I'm trying to find things to motivate me through today. I didn't really have the most spectacular of labs and I have a speech later on today. So, right now I feel very anxious and very unmotivate. Maybe because I haven't truely memorized my speech, but it's in my head and it's something that isn't researched. Still I need to have the speech in my head and ready to go by 5.

Probably a big part of this let down is that probably for these two weeks I haven't got the necessary materials for two of my classes. Today I didn't have my qualitative materials, somebody else took it and for Speech my computer had problems recognizing the syllabus when I downloaded it. So, I'm not sure what the professor wants us to incorporate in the speech and how many examples and this and that. So, that adds to my anxiousness and stuff.

I really needed yesterday to get all my stuff done. I had to turn off my phone because Kim was calling it which seemed like every two hours. I really needed to study because I feel so behind without all the necessary materials.

Got to polish up my essay and print it out. Haven't updated in almost a week, so I'll give you the scoop on what's been happening later on.

posted by Knight of Clap-Claps @ 11:33 AM